How To Love Me
A few weeks ago into a video on youtube by youtuber Shannon Boodram on a project called "How To Love Me". What this project is essentially is you sitting down and making a list of things that make you feel loved and cared for, the way that a plant would come with instructions on how to take care of it. The idea was no matter how much you loved the plant and wanted it to grow it would not unless you cared for it properly. Why should relationships be any different ? we cannot expect people to know how to care for us properly when most of the times we don't even know how to care for ourselves, the only thing you can expect from someone is for them to be willing to learn, but I have to first create the environment for me to be loved properly. This is especially important to me because i've noticed people (including me sometimes) have the habit of loving you how they feel like doing it and expect that you should just be grateful because they did something, well I'm not just excepting what people feel like giving me anymore. So like planting a plant....
Lets prepare the soil (4 points on how to love me)
1. Honesty/ Transparency: I NEED to be in the know. I personally start off with a certain amount of trust for people, you can either build on it or destroy it. In the beginning I don't expect bad out of you but I also don't put it past you. with that being said one way of building trust with me is being open, choosing to tell me things that I probably wouldn't know unless you told me but trusting me with that. Trusting me to see who you are and accept you as that, because if I move forward with you its a clear understanding that I accept you and love who you are, from there we can go anywhere. Show up and show me exactly who your are!
2. Acts of Service/ Shows of Affection: I feel extremely loved and cared for when someone asks me "Is there anything I can do for you today?" it literally warms my heart, and to add to that attentiveness, if you see that I need something done and you just do it without me asking. If you know me you know that I have a hard time asking for help because I HATE being disappointed, but if you do it without me asking its like you start to build trust with your actions rather than asking me to trust you your showing me you're trust worthy. and as far as the affection i'm personally very physically affectionate at first but there are times where I need someone so show me affection but i'm not quite sure how to ask
3. Gift Giving: I love Gifts, but I like thoughtful gifts. Something you heard me mention in passing, something you noticed I need. For example I loveeeee candles, you walking in one day with a new candle for me would more happy than you buying me flowers because I have no emotional attachment to flowers generally
4. BeingSupportive/Encouraging/ Open to learning and or being wrong: These things are self explanatory. I need someone who is willing to grow and to help grow me and you cant do that with not being willing to grow your mindset because I will quickly outgrow you. I need encouragement and support I need you to show up for the important things. I need you to read my blogs, give me constructive criticism.
Now that i've planted the seed, I'm ready to be watered.
As always thank you for reading and supporting my blog.
Lets prepare the soil (4 points on how to love me)
1. Honesty/ Transparency: I NEED to be in the know. I personally start off with a certain amount of trust for people, you can either build on it or destroy it. In the beginning I don't expect bad out of you but I also don't put it past you. with that being said one way of building trust with me is being open, choosing to tell me things that I probably wouldn't know unless you told me but trusting me with that. Trusting me to see who you are and accept you as that, because if I move forward with you its a clear understanding that I accept you and love who you are, from there we can go anywhere. Show up and show me exactly who your are!
2. Acts of Service/ Shows of Affection: I feel extremely loved and cared for when someone asks me "Is there anything I can do for you today?" it literally warms my heart, and to add to that attentiveness, if you see that I need something done and you just do it without me asking. If you know me you know that I have a hard time asking for help because I HATE being disappointed, but if you do it without me asking its like you start to build trust with your actions rather than asking me to trust you your showing me you're trust worthy. and as far as the affection i'm personally very physically affectionate at first but there are times where I need someone so show me affection but i'm not quite sure how to ask
3. Gift Giving: I love Gifts, but I like thoughtful gifts. Something you heard me mention in passing, something you noticed I need. For example I loveeeee candles, you walking in one day with a new candle for me would more happy than you buying me flowers because I have no emotional attachment to flowers generally
4. BeingSupportive/Encouraging/ Open to learning and or being wrong: These things are self explanatory. I need someone who is willing to grow and to help grow me and you cant do that with not being willing to grow your mindset because I will quickly outgrow you. I need encouragement and support I need you to show up for the important things. I need you to read my blogs, give me constructive criticism.
Now that i've planted the seed, I'm ready to be watered.
As always thank you for reading and supporting my blog.
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